would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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