I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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