You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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