Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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