I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
