areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize