Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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