That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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