you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
