I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
