we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
