Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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