i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
