SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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