I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
