So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize