so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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