I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
