winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
