I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
