You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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