I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
