Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize