Sorry, I don't speak sober.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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