I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
