His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize