The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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