Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize