And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Randomize
