so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
