You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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