Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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