so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
