therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
