Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize