I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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