i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm like, not good at living.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
