My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
