I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Houston, we have a squirter
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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