Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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