I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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