You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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