that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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