Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize