So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
