he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
