I need to stop coming to work sober
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
