I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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