I am puke
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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