Cold hands, warm shart.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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