Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize