Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
