I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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