Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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