I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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