Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
