Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
