I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I need a beard to bite.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
