I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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