I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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