What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
