Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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