It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
