I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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