I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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