My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
