is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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