consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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