I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
