a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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