Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
