found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
