420 ftw
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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