her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
