lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
